Tuesday, January 22, 2013

A bird on a wire


Have you ever noticed a bird on a wire?

I never really noticed them.  I never took the time to look up, but my son did.  He'd point them out to me and up I'd look and sure enough, there they were~ birds perched up there looking down at all of us.

I look for them now.
They slow me down.
They remind me to look up.

I sometimes feel like that bird on the wire, watching things from afar. I'm not in the thick of it anymore. I don't wonder if my next breath will come.  
I simply breathe.

But there was that time that I was there. 
wondering.
wishing.
praying.
That somehow I'd find a way out of this.
Fly away.

And I did.
It took a long time, but I left it.
I left it behind.
Left the intense moment-to-moment pain.
My smile came back.
My laughter came back.
But that old me was never seen again.
She flew away.
I didn't know it, but she flew away with him.
On that September night.
I didn't even notice, but just like that
She was gone.

And that's OK.

The girl who was left behind is stronger.
She is braver.
She fuller.
She is you.

Give yourself permission to say no.
To not be strong.
To not be brave.
To not understand.
Give yourself permission to let her fly away.
And see who remains.

In time, you may find you like her more than you ever thought you could.
I do.
~Peace~