Here. Because of you.

Dear Andrew~

It's your birthday.

I'm at your garden.

I have your journals where I have been reading of years without you. The ups, and downs, the sideways.

There are days where I can see the remnants of my tears as I poured my heart to you.

I'm at your garden.

Here.

I just lit your candles and sang to you.

I blew them out for you and made a wish that you're happy. 

That you feel my love.

That you know that I will always remember.

That I'll never forget.

Here.

17 years. 

I had probably gotten the call by now that this was to be the night when I finally got to meet you and Joe. I know what I was wearing- I know where I was sitting-  I know it all~

(and that's saying something for your forgetful mama)

17 years.

Here.

Here I am...

Tears streaming down my face.

Wondering what you might have been.

Wondering what you are.

But I can tell you~ to me you are my son.

You are big brother to all of your brothers and sisters.

Twin to Jonasen.

Difference maker.

One thing you are not, is forgotten and it is my goal to make sure you never are forgotten.

I left flowers on someone's car, Because of you!

We did do something different this year.

We are actually having a 5k in your memory!

There are many out there Andrew who are wearing a shirt today with YOUR name on it!

How I love when people say your name.

When they remember you.

I can tell you that Because of YOU families who will feel our sorrow will be comforted by a foundation here to help, aide, provide. Families will know that they too aren't alone. Because of you!

I am so incredibly proud of you. 

For sending this idea~ 

For floating it in my thoughts~

For cheering me on when it became a reality.

Happiest of birthdays to you sweet boy~ I look to the heavens and I feel you. 

I feel you here and I know you're here.

Here.

And I'm here.

Because of you.

Love Always,

Mom

https://runsignup.com/Race/MI/AnyCity/BecauseOfAndrew