Maddison

It was my second meeting. It was just us. We hadn't known there wasn't a scheduled meeting in the month of December, but we stayed anyway. We stayed and talked and she shared her story.

She told me of her son. He lived longer than expected and she was so thankful for that. She was up north that day and the way she described it made me feel as if I were there. Not a cloud in the sky- it was just so beautiful. Can you see it too? She said it was so peaceful. It was so right. She held him as he left and she thought how nice. She looked to the heavens and thought, how nice. A straight shot home. Home to heaven.

Yesterday was a beautiful day. Spring come early. I looked to the heavens and wondered, would today be the day? Would today be the day that He called her home? It was so nice and so beautiful. A straight shot.
We prayed for her that morning and for the first time aloud I found myself praying for a different miracle. The miracle of death, the ending of suffering, peace for a little girl and a family that has been hurting for so, so long.

I can close my eyes and it's as if I can see her. Not as I had months ago- hair gone from the medicine- one leg gone from the cancer that took it. No. I can see her. I see her running through golden fields, the wind through her hair. Running. Running into the arms of a Savior who was with her the entire time. Him lifting her and spinning her around. What a sweet embrace- Can you see it? He was there always. Through her suffering and pain. The reason I know its her is she wore the same thing I always saw her with... a smile. A sweet, sweet smile. And it was that smile that made it so hard to fight back the tears, fight back the anger of why her? It was her smile. I often wondered how a 10 year old girl could be so brave. Could be so full of grace. I wonder still. And yet, that is who she was.

Her days were too short for us, and yet God surely extended them more than once as it looked like her days on this earth were coming to an end. Miracles many. I remeber my children breaking in random prayers for her, her family. Praying.

But now it is finished.
The suffering is no more.
Now she is home.

And I can't help thinking about her family. How while it is finished, there will be an odd silence. Though she probably hasn't been in their home for a time, there must be an odd silence. Knowing that one of their babies isn't there. Isn't coming home. Not to their house. That odd silence is what breaks my heart.

I know that the days will pass and life will continue.
And I know the thoughts will come and the memories will flow.
And I know that she will be running through the fields- completely full. Full of love and peace and the grace that sustained her while she was on this earth. She's always been full. Can you see her? Spinning in the sunshine and knowing there will again be a sweet reunion when one day- much, much later they are all reunited again.

Her chains are gone.
She's been set free.
My God my Savior has ransomed thee.
And like a flood, His mercy reigns.
Unending love, Amazing Grace.

God-speed sweet Maddison. While we only spoke a few times you have left an enormous mark on my heart and on my soul. Thank you so much for sharing your story.