 |
| My Joey on the right with my best friend's rainbow. |
It still happens.
There are still moments when I hold my breath-
close my eyes-
and can't believe I've come this far.
Jonasen is now 13. He's taller than I am and his voice has deepened.
He's still soft-spoken.
Reflective.
Thoughtful.
He's still a child that seems to find me when I need him~
Just like his brother.
I remember that moment when he was not even a year old~
Andrew's ashes had arrived and when I got them I crumbled.
Sank to the floor.
So deep in my grief and cries that I didn't think I could get out~
But there he was-
He had heard me-
Crawled over to me-
His head on me as I cried.
I remember gathering him in my arms-
my lifeline.
Tonight I was thinking of Andrew as I often do.
No longer in that deep grief but a quiet wondering.
I was thinking of him.
And also of his brother Joe-
My twins.
Thinking of how proud I am of Joe and I have to think his brother must be too.
I was just standing there in the kitchen.
Thinking.
Joe came to me (as he sometimes does)
with that single word, (he sometimes says)
"Hug."
And took me in his arms~
my head now resting on his shoulder.
There are still moments when I hold my breath-
Close my eyes-
and can't believe I've come this far.
But I have.
We have.
Posts
