Sunday, October 10, 2010

Left too soon.

This year Joe wrote "Andrew" on his balloon.
His brother's name.
And we both kissed it and knew that it would soon make its journey past the clouds to the heavens. It would fly to the sky where Andrew could see just how grown up his twin was. See how he could write his name. How much he has grown these last seven years. Seven years since they shared that space together, listening to the beat of my heart.

We were in a sea of blue, pink and white balloons when I saw it. Andrew's balloon slipped through Jonasen's hands and meandered it's way up into the crystal blue sky. It was a beautiful sight. I watched as it's string danced in the wind. I watched as it seemed to get smaller and smaller as it traveled further away from us. And then I watched as my little boy flung his arms around me and sobbed, "It left too soon!"

Left too soon.

All I could think was, "Yes, it left too soon. He left too soon."

And I know that there is not a mother or father on this earth who wouldn't have given the world for one more hour, one more minute, one more moment with their precious child.
But those who were there- gathered at the garden- all knew that feeling. All lived it. For all of us had a child who had left too soon.

I gathered Joey in my arms and we cried. He for the balloon that left too soon, me for the boy. I turned him around and we looked at the sky and I whispered, "Watch it Joe. It's going. It's on its way. Watch it."

We sat and cried and stared, watching the lone balloon as it traveled further and further away on its path- and finally- it was gone.

After a moment he turned to me and said, "You know what mom? I think that Andrew is up there." And with a gesture he said, "And he just scooped his arms through a cloud and gathered up his balloon. I think he liked it."

I think he liked it too.

But there was another balloon left to set sail. Ali Jane held tight, not wanting to let it go. Wanting to hold on.

Wanting to hold on, until it too left, and we watched, and wondered and imagined... two arms reaching down through the clouds, smiling at her very special balloon. With one letter on it, written by her sister.

Where do balloons go? It's a mystery you know. But just hold on tight, until it's time, to let go...

7 comments:

  1. Okay, I would of commented sooner but I needed to dry my eyes in order write this. God bless you and everything you do...and everything you stand for. You truly are an inspiration to me. One that reassures me that there are wonderful people in the world we live in.

    While I read this, I had pictures of very young children (both in strollers and walking) holding onto balloons and letting them go (losing them) for the first time. It surfaced a sad feeling for a second but then I saw what you've done here. You've shown your children and others around you that it's okay when a balloon leaves our hands. We may not always understand why or know exactly where it's going to end up, but things like this help us know that everything will be alright and that the balloon will be going to the right place at the right time... perfectly.

    Keep being remarkable... those of us who noticed are eternally grateful.

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  2. Beautiful post, reading this on the anniversary of the day my little girl was gone too soon. I'm glad I stopped here.

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  3. Beautiful and so heartfelt! Thanks for always doing a great job putting it into words.

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  4. Beautiful post. I hope that Andrew knew that balloon was sent up especially for him, with so much love from his mom and his twin brother.

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  5. First, I just want to thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving me such kind words. I needed that. ♥ I read this and I am crying. It breaks my heart. My daughter came to me last week and said, "Mommy, I wish I could fly to Heaven and bring my brothers home." We both broke down crying. Her crying for the loss of her brothers...the brothers she was going to teach how to play soccer. Me crying for the loss of my sons, and for the pain I see my daughter going through. Pain a child should never know. ((hugs)) This post was beautiful and it made me think of this poem...

    Where do balloons go Mommy, when you set them free?
    Do they float into the clouds or get stuck in the trees?
    Do they fly high in the sky or get popped by a bee?
    Do they soar with the birds and bugs in the air?
    Or stay close to the ground and ge...t chased by a bear?
    Does the wind blow them out over the big blue ocean?
    Or do they climb up and over small hills and big mountains?
    Do they go into space and circle the stars?
    And fall back to Earth after traveling so far?
    Or does God collect them all in a big bouquet...
    And give them to the children in Heaven each day?
    Where do the balloons go Mommy, when you set them free?
    I hope they go to Heaven...as a gift from me!
    Author Unknown

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  6. Okay, I would of commented sooner but I needed to dry my eyes in order write this. God bless you and everything you do...and everything you stand for. You truly are an inspiration to me. One that reassures me that there are wonderful people in the world we live in.

    While I read this, I had pictures of very young children (both in strollers and walking) holding onto balloons and letting them go (losing them) for the first time. It surfaced a sad feeling for a second but then I saw what you've done here. You've shown your children and others around you that it's okay when a balloon leaves our hands. We may not always understand why or know exactly where it's going to end up, but things like this help us know that everything will be alright and that the balloon will be going to the right place at the right time... perfectly.

    Keep being remarkable... those of us who noticed are eternally grateful.

    ReplyDelete

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