Monday, April 18, 2011

And he was there...

For those of you who are new to my blog- new to my story- I have been traveling down this road for some time. Andrew was my first born (over 7 1/2 years ago) and since then my family has had many blessings and of course, heartache.

Recently we packed up our family and took a vacation to the mountains. It was a hectic time getting everyone ready~ packed. I told my children they could only pack books and/or toys that could fit in their backpack and we were off.

There is something about going on vacation that makes me think of them. The people in my life know my story- know my family- but out there... people see us- a family with four children close in age and they have no idea what our story is- who is missing.

Over the years I feel like I have found a good place. One where there is more blessings than sorrow- even though some days I need to search- more blessings than sorrow- especially when it comes to the two lives I long to meet again one day... but even in that place, I have moments.

On our drive down, I was thinking of Andrew- nothing specific- his name just has a way of fluttering in and out of my thoughts often throughout the day. I was thinking of him when my middle son pulled a book out of his pack and asked me to read it to him. I looked at the cover and it said, "We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead."

And he was there.

Our last stop before our final destination was my friend's home. Our lives crossed when I lost my Andrew, and not long after- she lost her Brooke. Seeing her again was so sweet.

And he was there.

Toward the end of the night our boys were performing a show for us in the basement full of dancing and fun. My son had two shirts on and was hot so took one off. I glanced at his shirt, "My twin is an angel."

And he was there.

Sometimes I feel like life is so busy that I don't take a moment to really sit and remember and thank God for what I do have- a son (and daughter) in heaven who one day I will meet again. Too busy- but then something will happen and I'll feel it.

He is there. And he reminds me. Not with sorrow but with pause. Slow down. Look at the blessings around you. Slow down or you could miss them. Especially when your world starts to turn again. The good news is that they're always there- when you're ready.

Blessings.
And reminders.
That he was there.

7 comments:

  1. I love the reminders we see. They were hard at first, but now they mostly make me smile and think of when we'll see him again.

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  2. Such a great post yet again! Isn't it amazing the things we can miss with life being busy or our own distraction from what we are missing? In that distraction we often miss the signs they are sending, such a great reminder by the title of the blog and this post, to just pause, to look, and to know that they are there! Thanks as always for sharing your insightful heart!

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  3. I love reading your posts they are always beautiful stories of how you remember your baby boy. I was in the shower this morning thinking about checking in on blogs and specifically thought of yours and how I hadn't read it in awhile and how fitting you had just posted a new one.

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  4. I love reading your posts. I love the reminders too. Life does get so busy, but they are always there.

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  5. Beautiful post as always. So glad he was there. ((HUGS))

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  6. Thank you for sharing! I needed this reminder to slow down and remember all of the blessings around me and my family. As I watch Will continue to struggle, I need to remind myself of the blessings he has had. Thank you for helping me do this tonight.

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  7. I love reading your posts they are always beautiful stories of how you remember your baby boy. I was in the shower this morning thinking about checking in on blogs and specifically thought of yours and how I hadn't read it in awhile and how fitting you had just posted a new one.

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