Lessons

I have always been a planner. And things in my life have always fallen into place in my time frame.
In college I met the love of my life.
After college I got a job that I truly love.
I had a beautiful, picture perfect wedding.
A wonderful husband, home, dog.
Amazing friends, family, life.
And then I became pregnant and with not one but two babies. I loved being pregnant and it was everything I ever imagined it would be and more. I had never struggled.
Life was good.
I was happy.
I was full.

And then life threw me my curveball.
In a moment I learned that despite all of the the planning, all of the hoping, all of the praying- sometimes life just doesn't turn out the way we think it will- Sometimes it's not the way we dreamed- the way we pictured it in our heads as children- growing up and dreaming about what our futures would be. Sometimes we find ourselves in a place we never dreamed we'd be and it can feel so lonely and so, so dark.

Losing Andrew was the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life. It has been a journey on which I have found myself- And at times I've wondered how I got to this place- to this person that I have become. I had a choice and somewhere along the journey, the path, I chose to listen to the lessons that he teaches me- daily- just through loving him, and knowing him and losing him.

Andrew has:
Made me a better wife.
Made me a better friend.
Made me a better mother.
Made me more compassionate.
Made me more understanding.
Made me more forgiving.
Made me pause-

We should all be so blessed with life's lessons-
If only they didn't come at such a cost.