Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Eve

Tomorrow.
Tomorrow I will meet the baby growing inside of me.
The baby I have been praying for.
The baby I have been dreaming of.
Singing to.
Pleading with.
Tomorrow.

Today is the eve.
And the eves have always been safe.
I feel the movement.
I know it is o.k.
They were all o.k.
On the eve.

But today I cried.
Knowing that tomorrow my life will change.
How I was such a different person on that first eve.
So different than the woman I am now.
And while the transformation has been a process-
And the person I am now is one I am proud of- and that I love-
The transformation has been painful-
Scary-

Today I cried.
Knowing that tomorrow my life will change.
And in so many ways I do not know what that change will be.
Boy? Girl?
Full? Broken?

But I know that whatever that change will be- I will not be alone.
I've never been alone.
God has always been by my side- and has sent me His angels- and so many, many people who have been praying- holding me up- keeping me here.
Where I need to be.

But it's the eve.
And I cry for the unknown-
the what will be-
the peace that seems to be tested-
on my eves.

Tomorrow is October 9th.

95 years ago, my dear Grandpa Jonasen was born to this world.
34 years ago, his son left this world.
All on October 9th.

This day has been a day that has changed my family.
Sometimes growing hearts-
Sometimes breaking them-

Tomorrow our life will change again.

But today is the eve-
And through wet eyes, I will think and ponder all that is good-
all that is right-
and know that whatever will come.
I will be blessed.

17 comments:

  1. Laura, I wish you all the best tomorrow! I will say a special prayer for you for a wonderful baby to enter this world to complete your family. Good Luck! Can't wait to see the pictures of your little one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wishing you all the best. Know that you are surrounded by the purest of love... the love of your child gone too soon.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Laura,

    You will be in my prayers tomorrow.

    Jenni

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are blessed and you will be blessed. Sending light and love to you. Can't wait to hear about your new little one.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I will be thinking and praying for you tomorrow. Wishing you peace in comfort on this "eve" and tomorrow. xx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers xxx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dear friend, praying this day away and praying for the day that will change your life again. I'm crying with you and for you- for this day- that it will bring such joy and peace to your heart.

    I hardly know how I will wait patiently to hear- I can't even imagine your racing heart and anxious thoughts. "Be still and know that I am God"- "..when you walk through the waters, I will be there..."
    You are an amazing woman...May God bless your socks off Laura xx
    oh hurry up tomorrow already!
    loving you

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thinking of, and praying for, you and your family today Laura. xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sending a prayer for you today!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. So beautiful and so coincidental. My dad passed away on this day, and then we had our beautiful babies on this day as well. Such lows and then such highs. It remains a special day. Our love and thoughts are with you as we share YOUR WONDERFUL day. Grandma Judy

    ReplyDelete
  11. Wishing you all the best. Know that you are surrounded by the purest of love... the love of your child gone too soon.

    ReplyDelete

Your thoughts?