Friday, October 2, 2009

The Secret Garden Meeting

The Secret Garden Meeting is a wonderful blog for women who have lost children. It asks them about their experiences and then allows them to post and read about one another's experience. This is my experience- September.

What has helped you through out this new life the most. Is it your family? your faith? Support groups? A ritual? Music? Physical activity? A new interest? It could be anything. Tell us about how whatever it is has helped you.

Peace.

If you told me that I would find it- or have it six years ago- or even perhaps five- I would have told you that you were crazy. My new life? Well- it wasn't what I had signed up for- what I wanted and somehow I found myself treading water- trying to find my way- survive with a broken heart- and for a time I was stuck.

Literally I was stuck- stuck in a place I didn't want to be anymore. I have an amazing family- an amazing network of friends- of support- and a faith that is so very strong- and still I was stuck. My writing helped me- but in the end I kept coming back to that place... The place where I felt so hollow and wanting to come out of it... but stuck.

What helped me most was the Secret Society- A group of amazing people that I met with each month at the hospital where I delivered- The hospital. The very place where my new life began. The name of this 'Secret Society' was/ is HUGS and you will still find me there- every third Thursday of the month, in Meagan's room. HUGS helped me in my new life. Helped me become 'unstuck' on the journey of my life.

Each month I met new people- mostly women- and it amazed me how different we were. We were so different in so many ways and yet we had this common bond- an unspoken understanding of each other that even our closest friends couldn't quite understand- not completely anyway. For we all knew what it was like to lose a child, to lose dreams, and to be 'stuck'. And whether I met them once- or talk to them still- they touched me- and I took something from their stories- from knowing them- from listening.

Each month these women comforted me, carried me and listened to me. They did not judge- they listened- and they shared- and in their sharing I was no longer alone in my new life. I had others. And I liked them. I longed to see them each month- to know them- because though our time together in Meagan's room was limited I felt that they knew me more than most. They understood me and my new life.

And now I can tell you that this group of women- amazing women- whom I have met through the blessings of lives that were never lived- have helped me heal. The friendship. The friendship is what helped me most. A true gift from God. And now it is no longer all about our angels. It is about us. Where we are. Who we are. Acceptance. Peace.

And now you may see us having meetings at coffee houses, restaurants or even our living rooms- because born out of grief has been an amazing bond of friendship. One I would guess will last a lifetime.

A support system like no other. Our secret society.

http://momentsofpause.blogspot.com/2009/01/secret-society.html

15 comments:

  1. That is wonderful. I am so happy that you have made special relationships that help you along your journey. God Bless

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  2. How wonderful to make such friendships.

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  3. I am glad things like this exist to help moms (and dads) going through the death of their child. HUGS sounds wonderful.

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  4. This sounds like a wonderful group. You describe it beautifully. I wish my hospital had something like this. xx

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  5. The bond that comes from sharing something so tragic really is incredibly strong. Thank you for sharing x

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  6. I too don't know where I'd be without my blog buddies and the women I met from my support group. My doctor just phoned me yesterday and told me that another woman has joined our club. She asked if I would talk to her. I am ready to welcome her with open arms. And, hoping that the blog world is a comfort to her, as well.

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  7. This is an amazing post! I know exactly what you mean by being stuck. I am there. I am looking for this kind of group in my area. I think I found one called MEND. Thank you for the hope you have given me.

    XX

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  8. What a wonderful group of women. Happy for you to have them in your life.

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  9. how wonderful to have such a group to help you through your loss. sounds like an amazing thing to be part of.

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  10. What a wonderful group and I'm so glad you've had that support and comfort. I wish there was one here where we've moved... (((Hugs)))

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  11. Finding a support group made such a difference for me too. It was a while before I found it and I was beginning to think I was going crazy for still struggling so much when everyone around me expected me to be moving on. There I felt normal.

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  12. how wonderful to have such a group to help you through your loss. sounds like an amazing thing to be part of.

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  13. The bond that comes from sharing something so tragic really is incredibly strong. Thank you for sharing x

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  14. That is wonderful. I am so happy that you have made special relationships that help you along your journey. God Bless

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