What has helped you through out this new life the most. Is it your family? your faith? Support groups? A ritual? Music? Physical activity? A new interest? It could be anything. Tell us about how whatever it is has helped you.
If you told me that I would find it- or have it six years ago- or even perhaps five- I would have told you that you were crazy. My new life? Well- it wasn't what I had signed up for- what I wanted and somehow I found myself treading water- trying to find my way- survive with a broken heart- and for a time I was stuck.
Literally I was stuck- stuck in a place I didn't want to be anymore. I have an amazing family- an amazing network of friends- of support- and a faith that is so very strong- and still I was stuck. My writing helped me- but in the end I kept coming back to that place... The place where I felt so hollow and wanting to come out of it... but stuck.
What helped me most was the Secret Society- A group of amazing people that I met with each month at the hospital where I delivered- The hospital. The very place where my new life began. The name of this 'Secret Society' was/ is HUGS and you will still find me there- every third Thursday of the month, in Meagan's room. HUGS helped me in my new life. Helped me become 'unstuck' on the journey of my life.
Each month I met new people- mostly women- and it amazed me how different we were. We were so different in so many ways and yet we had this common bond- an unspoken understanding of each other that even our closest friends couldn't quite understand- not completely anyway. For we all knew what it was like to lose a child, to lose dreams, and to be 'stuck'. And whether I met them once- or talk to them still- they touched me- and I took something from their stories- from knowing them- from listening.
Each month these women comforted me, carried me and listened to me. They did not judge- they listened- and they shared- and in their sharing I was no longer alone in my new life. I had others. And I liked them. I longed to see them each month- to know them- because though our time together in Meagan's room was limited I felt that they knew me more than most. They understood me and my new life.
And now I can tell you that this group of women- amazing women- whom I have met through the blessings of lives that were never lived- have helped me heal. The friendship. The friendship is what helped me most. A true gift from God. And now it is no longer all about our angels. It is about us. Where we are. Who we are. Acceptance. Peace.
And now you may see us having meetings at coffee houses, restaurants or even our living rooms- because born out of grief has been an amazing bond of friendship. One I would guess will last a lifetime.
A support system like no other. Our secret society.