Yellow walls- green bedding- a dresser full of clothes- a shelf full of books- two cribs- and the chair.
Yes it was ready- it had been ready for weeks.
The days passed, and yet they didn't come.
But the room was ready.
So very ready for two little babies.
But then they came.
One week late.
They came on September 15, 2003.
They came- But one left.
And I wanted it gone.
the empty crib-
I thought it would haunt me to see it there.
But it wasn't the crib-
Its absence in the room...
It was the chair.
The chair was what broke my heart.
I wrote of it here.
We have had others-
But they have had no room.
No clean clothes in a dresser-
Prayers that soon, we would build another room- full of love- hope- and dreams.
Dreams that wouldn't be taken away.
Because I didn't expect it.
The pain of seeing things gone.
Of knowing a baby wouldn't sleep there-
Wear those clothes-
Be read to in that chair-
Was too much.
And too fresh.
And so went the instructions: IF the baby comes, please take out the appropriate clothes from the bins in the basement. Please find the car seat and the bassinet. IF...
And so now- six years later- a baby is expected to come home in October.
But you wouldn't know it by walking in our home.
But perhaps you would feel the prayers- the love- the hopes- the dreams-
But you won't see things.
But there are things in the basement.