My Comfort

I keep it in his baby book.

It was Monday, September 15th 2003. I woke up like I had many mornings as of late wondering if this would be the day they would come. Perhaps this would be the day that I would see my children for the first time, see the two little ones who had taken over my body for the last 39 weeks!

As every morning of my pregnancy, I started with a devotional and on that morning the reading was the 23rd Psalm and it read, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort who comforts us in all our troubles." 2 Corinthians 1:3

What followed was a story about death and dying and comfort in times of trouble...

It was an odd thing to read 9 months pregnant and ready to deliver two babies. It was an odd thing to read at that moment when I had nothing but hope and dreams for my two babies. I tried to relate it to me- perhaps I would need comfort during the pains of labor??


Little did I know that morning that later that very afternoon, my doctor would call me in to be induced a week earlier than planned and when I asked her what made her call that day, what made her change her mind, her words were, "I don't know, God just put you in my head that day." And I am so glad she listened.


For that night they were delivered.
Both boys were wrapped and wrapped in cord. The very cord that gave them life had taken it from one. I was told had we waited that extra week I would have went home with my arms completely empty. My sweet Jonasen would not have made it.


And so those words were meant to comfort me. I cut out that journal page and it lies in Andrew's baby book full of dreams and wishes, never to come true.


Perhaps Andrew's life was to be a comfort to others, to let them know that there is no fear in death. It has been that to me. If one had told me before you could live with a broken heart, I never would have believed them. But you can. I know. I do.


And at the bottom of the page I read that morning, written for September 15th, 2003, oblivious to how my life would truly change that day it said,

"Christ, let me comfort others as You have comforted, carried and saved
me. Amen."